About

The universe is said to be 13.8 billion years old, give or take, which is apparently just enough time for the Armillaria ostoyae (honey mushroom) to come into being and conquer the mountains of Oregon. One can only speculate as to whether this mycelial mass understands its importance as the grand culmination of all that came before… But, just in case, I am reluctant to make this ‘About’ page about me or this work, because doing so could trample upon the (well-justified) religious beliefs of my fungal friends.

Now, technically speaking, Posidonia australis (some stupid seagrass) is actually larger than the aforementioned honey mushroom (by area, though not biomass), but I have met Posidonia australis and frankly I am not impressed; it is rude, incorrigible, lustful, and grossly proud of its capacity for ‘asexual self-replication’. I do not think it is worth any concern.

To any Posidonia australis that may be offended by this opinion, you can go fuck yourself.